Blog design

Good day all. I am still refining the look of my blog, colors, background, etc. If you feel dizzy or nauseous while reading my posts may I suggest a trip to the emergency room or perhaps just a healthy gulp of Pepto Bismol (which should be a Ben & Jerry's flavor but to date they've not gotten back to me for further input.) Nothing of note occuring today although I did whap my funny bone (is that the "humerus" bone?) against a senior citizen who did not find it funny. Don't get between me and the fresh donuts Mable. By all means keep checking back and you should know that I'm trying to make it easy to find my blog via various means of searching. Today's tip: Don't buy "Scrabble" as a birthday gift for your dyslexic boss.

News about my stickers...

Good day all and thanks for tuning in! Very soon I'll debut my Funny Stickers line right here on this very spot. My first sticker reads, "The computers work for us, not vice-versa." When they have arrived from the printer - which is a sweat shop in a nondescript suburb of Mumbai where the work is performed by 9-year-olds who should be in school  - I will provide info on how to get one. Until then just write my slogan on a piece of duct tape and place it where my sticker will ultimately reside. One great place for stickers these days are on our Nalgenes (which has become the colloquial term for anything you drink out of. It's similar to saying "I'll make a Xerox for you.") so may I suggest you put one there for starters. Now the kitchen is calling out to me because it's lonely so I'll retreat to its comforting walls and stuff some groceries down my neck.

Welcome groupies and groupies in training.

Thank you for tuning in to my blog and may it lead to a beautiful and shallow relationship. There are often things on my mind that I feel the need to share so while my thrust is to entertain you this will also be cathartic for me. This is my very first blog and if you don't enjoy it then there is something very wrong with you and I suggest that you contact a doctor or a priest ASAP. The English language has taken some hits over the years (Ebonics? Are you fucking serious?) but you can expect its proper usage here.

Okay. It's time for me to go fishing so I'll sign off for now. Before I can start fisting - sorry, I meant fishing - I need to stop at my local arms dealer's house and grab a few grenades. Bait is slimy and lures will hook you even if you just look at them so I fish differently than most anglers. Field & Stream rejected the article I sent them but Soldier of Fortune will likely buy it or at least give me store credit.